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Marcela’s Extortion (Foul language ahead!)

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From some years since this all started, extortion calls have been on the rise. Most of them are hoaxes to make people deposit money… usually call on the morning saying they took your kid from school, or that they have an uncle or your mother.  These people use the fear we have of cartels to their advantage.  Once, my yet to be “mother-in-law” got a call saying that they had “her daughter”. She only has a son, so she was really worried about me and a friend who hanged out a lot on her house. That’s why I want to share this with you. A 17 year old teen received this call and thought it was very serious so he started to record most of the conversation with hopes of helping police to catch the caller… but no one was expecting the amazing twist her older sister was going make while taking the call… I’ll translate the whole thing and leave you with a funny animation someone did with the original audio below.  ENJOY! FOUL LANGUAGE WARNING!! Caller: …-I wont move from here, fucker, empty handed, fucker. I’ll leave with a fistfull of bills or I’ll leave with each of your family members, fucker, each one of their little heads of those who are here, friend. You get me? Right now, we have your mommy at distance; don’t do anything stupid or trick me because in that mere moment I’ll take her from your life and I sell her to heaven. Do I make myself clear? Boy: Yes, sir, I understand. Caller: So put your feet on earth, prick! And stop trying to play with my mind! You are not dealing with any dumbfuck or a fucking possum, now tell me if you believe we are some dirty fucks? or you’ll put me to test instead of words. Boy: Tell me what to do, sir. Caller: Tell me with how much do we count right now simply in this mere moment ((Yeah, it sounds stupid even in spanish, I’ll put in italics any mistakes he makes)) to start solving this matter of the floor you are using that is my territory. (( lol wat )) Boy: Look, sir, seriously speaking, right now I have in my wallet… 500 pesos (( 50 bucks )), but that’s why I’m telling you, let me speak with my mom so I can- Caller: No, friend! You value on 500 pesos the life of your loved ones as the life of your own?? Boy: Sir… I don’t work, I’m a student- Caller: That’s not going to be enough even for any of the trombs of your family. Boy: But sir, there’s no one else in my home and I only have 500 pesos available Caller: ….. *long pause* Listen to me….. Boy: Tell me sir… Caller: Listen to me. I want you to give me the number of your cellphone, dumbfuck. Digit for digit. Without any smart moves, fucker! And don’t tell me NO, because I have own the best technology and I know there’s a freaking cellphone in there. Give me your cellphone, digit for digit to take this negotiation like more like it, more private. Boy: I don’t own a cellphone. Caller: Are you trying to play with my intellect, comrade?? Boy: Of course not sir, but I don’t have a cellphone. If I had one I would give it to you gladly. Caller: Then I want you to get me a number this right mere moment without leaving the phone. In this moment you can’t leave the line, my friend, the first moment you want to play smart and leave the line, is like you’d separated from your mother, my friend, do I make myself clear? Boy: Yes sir. Caller: do I make myself clear!? Boy: Yes sir! Caller: So I want you to give me a cellphone number, digit for digit so we can go and figure out something with those 500 pesos. Boy: Ok, hold on a sec, let me get a number. Caller: Listen to me-! Boy: I wont hang up! Caller: You can’t leave this line, friend! Boy: …..I have to come down for the agenda, this phone is upstairs in a room. Caller: I want you to tell me, and in the first fakery you say and lie to me, in that mere moment I hang up and start detonating the family, I start to burn your fucking house and I start giving you hard evidence, is that what you want? Boy: No sir. Caller: Then hear me well…. Who elseses is there with you? Boy: … my sister Caller: Efectively, what’s the name of your sister? Boy: Marcela Caller: Alright, how old is your sister this Ma- what was it? Boy: My sister Marcela Caller: How old is she? Boy: 25 years, she’s older than me, I’m sevente- Caller: Patch her through to me! Patch her through to me. Boy: I’ll patch her through…. let me get her, don’t hang up, she’s on her room. Caller: Yell to her to come from here, comrade! Boy: Marce! Caller: Listen to me what we are going to do- Marcela: What? Boy: Yes, sir? Caller: Patch her through and don’t mention her what’s happening. I’ll explain the issue right now. Patch her through. Boy: I’ll patch her through, sir… Here, you have a call. Marcela: Hello? Caller: Marcela? Marcela: Who’s speaking? Caller: Marcela, listen, you are talking with your Commander, host((as a synonym of servant)) and friend, the commander Miguel Anguel Treviño Morales with private code in Z-40. ((This is the code of the Zetas cartel )) We have just- Marcela: Wha-What? What? wait- WHO? Caller: Here where you are there’s- Marcela: Who’s speaking? Who’s speaking? Caller: … I have been waiting the climax of this call, you are speaking with the guerrilla of the Zetas, have you heard of us? Marcela: Who’s speaking? Can you repeat your name? that your are my friend? commander what? Caller: With private code Z-40 Marcela: No, I don’t own any private code. Tell me what’s your name? Caller: Cyclone and Storm. Marcela: what? Caller: Have you heard of us yes or no!? Marcela: you are kidding me! Cyclone and Storm!? *snorts* Caller: Do you want hard evidence?? Should I take your- Marcela: HA-HA-HA-HA-HA! Who the hell is this dude? Boy: Shh…they are going to kill us… D: Marcela: Naah, c’mon! *serious* Who’s speaking? Caller: That’s right, do you want me to start- Marcela: Chuy, is that you? Caller: Look Marcela- Marcela: Chuy, right? Is that you, Chuy? Caller: …what? Marcela: Is you, Chuy! Caller: So you think this is a game, you fucking brat whore!? Marcela: You are Chuy, right? Caller: I’m going to put you six feet unde- Marcela: HAHAHAHA! Chuy, dude, what the hell, hehe! Caller: STUPID BRAT! Marcela: Knock it off Chuy! Caller: ……………. Marcela: So, what’s up? What do you want? Caller: ……………no kiddo, do you love your mommy? Marcela: -eh, Chuy? Ah, Chuuuyy, are you going to start with that?? Heeheeheehee! Caller: Do you value your mother’s life!? Yes or no? Marcela: Uh? My mom is in Tepic((City)). Caller: What? Marcela: My mom is on a trip in Tepic. Caller: Yeah, well, do you value your mother or not? Marcela: Who’s freaking speaking? *snorts* Caller: you are talking with your Commander, host and friend, the commander Miguel Anguel Treviño Morales of the ordanization of the Gulf Cartel of the Zetas, kiddo. ((gulf cartel is other organization altogether LOL )) Marcela: hehe, well no shit! HEH Caller: I’m here in 224 Guerrererrer at 200 meters radius I have 7 of my best Wind and Storm units, like equipped with firearms 9mm, 10mm and AK47, do you want me to show you with facts and not with words the truth of life!? Marcela: What’s the truth of life? Caller: Do you wanting to start dying!? Marcela: *snorts* PFFTT wanting to start dying!? HAHAHAHA!! Is that the truth of life!? Caller: I have your mother kidnapped, kiddo. Marcela: Aw, c’mon sir, didn’t you hear? My mother is in Tepic. Caller: I’m calling from a *mumble-mumble* that is also in Tepic. Do you want to hear your mommy!? Marcela: Yeah, patch her through. Caller: Are you drunk, kiddo!? Marcela: Nooo, this is what I am like. Are you shitfaced? Caller: ….What? Marcela: Are you shitfaced? Caller: ….. go fuck your mother Marcela…. Marcela: And you too my Commander friend! Hahaha Boy: ooops Caller: now now… he had already given his cherry up. That little fag. You, that are a young lady, put more balls than that little sissy. Marcela: HAHAHAHAHAHAA! Aw c’mon, he’s just a boy! Caller: Yeah! He’s a real wuss! He immediately gave up his ass, he was already going to give the money! MArcela: HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Aw, well, listen, go and make the joke on another stupid fuck, yes? Caller: to the dumbfuck of your brother! He was going to give me 500 pesos! Marcela: Ahh, you see? And for 500 pesos you are wasting the call? Caller: Nah, well, stupids fucks like you I have screwed plenty. That’s why I keep working, kiddo. Marcela: Well, you keep working to see if you get any. Meanwhile I got a good laugh at your expenses, ok? Caller: Alright, I’ll go strong. Give me your blessing kiddo! Boy: Farewell for the 500 pesos! Marcela: Farewell my sir Commander! Keep the high spirits! And see who listens. Boy: Keep sucking it. Caller: Yeah, thanks for the support…. Marcela: Bye! Caller: ….indians piece of shit…… Marcela/Boy: HAHAHAHAHA Caller: *hangs*

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